We must accept each other’s positive and negative qualities if we want our relationship to last. Browse through as we outline some typical causes of unsuccessful relationships, along with solutions.
- Trust problems
Every love relationship is built on the principles of loyalty and trust. A lack of trust in a relationship can be caused by a variety of things, such as excessive dependency, possessiveness, jealousy, dishonesty, and previous unfavorable events. There is very little relationship security when there is not enough trust. This indicates that there is no hope for the relationship’s future, or even any future at all.
What to do: When trust is lacking, both couples’ worst traits will surface. If trust has previously been shattered, make a commitment to working together to create a plan to rebuild it. Try to have faith in your relationship and provide your partner some freedom if the trust hasn’t already been damaged. Give your brain something to do to divert its attention from your problems.
“Love doesn’t break hearts, the ego does,” someone once stated.
Although ego is a little word, it has the power to damage a relationship. A wonderful relationship can be destroyed with just a hint of ego. Partners regularly express understanding and interest in one another in relationships that last. Ego is all about the individual, their ambitions, and their self-worth. Additionally, demanding sacrifices and modifications from the other to appease your ego does not encourage a healthy exchange of love and support. Selfishness and distance between partners come hand in hand with ego.
What to do: An egoist will constantly desire to be in the right. But be aware that being wrong is completely ok. Work to shift your perspective from “me” to “other,” and think about how you may satisfy your partner’s needs. Consider what would occur if you allowed your ego to rule your relationship. Would it make your partner happy? Does it improve your relationship with your spouse? And is it worthwhile to put the relationship in jeopardy for your ego? If “no” to the aforementioned questions, maintain your composure and let your obstinate ego loose.
3. Communication Gap
One of the key components of a strong relationship is honest and open communication. Miscommunication can cause gaps in even the strongest romantic relationships, whether you’re trying to keep something significant from your partner or you don’t have enough time to speak.
A partner may seek love and affection from other sources if they feel lonely as a result of poor communication. Negative feelings can accumulate over time as a result of miscommunication between you and your partner and eventually cause a relationship to end.
What to do: If you and your spouse are having communication issues, address them right away before they get out of hand. Make healthy communication a priority and practice it, since it can solve the majority of relationship issues. Schedule regular conversations about the issues separating you.
4. There could be no compromise
In successful relationships, balance is a crucial component. Even when your partner is upset, refusing to compromise and yield might breed bitterness. The development of a supportive partnership might be hampered by rigidity in thinking and a refusal to take your partner’s viewpoint into account.
What to do: Sometimes letting your partner make the decision is OK. Instead of getting caught up in winning every skirmish, keep your eyes on the greater goal. Love ought to be unselfish, not self-centered. See how simple your relationship may become by allowing for certain modifications and sacrifices.
5. Baseless expectations
“Expectations were similar to expensive pottery. They were more likely to crack the harder you gripped them”.
– Brandon Sanderson, an American author of science fiction and fantasy
You shouldn’t put too much pressure on your partner, which is one of the major causes of failed relationships. Expectations are initially rather modest and are thus readily met. Romantic dinners, presents, and other activities are frequently included during the infatuation period. Partners typically embody their best selves and are able to look past one other’s shortcomings. However, once infatuation wears off, partners start to view each other realistically and find it harder to ignore potentially troublesome differences.
For instance, even though your partner is more concerned with job objectives, you may be prepared for marriage and having children. Or perhaps your partner likes a more stable life, while you are looking forward to travel and excitement. Conflict in your relationship might arise greatly from a mismatch of these expectations.
What to do: Despite being a couple, you are two separate people. Be sure to be transparent about your goals and expectations. Try to discover ways for each person to get some of what they desire when you confront differences. Instead of passing judgment and responding, try to comprehend each other’s motivations.
While getting upset is acceptable, acting on it violently or aggressively is not. One’s ability to solve problems successfully is hampered by intense anger. Therefore, making judgments under duress might result in unwise and hurtful words and actions.
Anger can harm your quality of life as well as your connection with your partner. Your relationship may be in peril if either of you struggles with intense anger and is unable to manage it.
Learn to control your impulsive behavior. Think for a moment about the potential consequences of an aggressive reaction. Your relationship can suffer if you make a decision you later regret. Does it merit it? Give yourself some time to unwind, and decide with your spouse to address issues later.
7. Uncertain priorities
Everybody has priorities. If these priorities are not properly controlled, you might experience relationship issues. For instance, you can be too preoccupied at work, or you might spend all of your leisure time with friends, and you might continually push family issues to the bottom of the list. One of the reasons partnerships collapse is due to such a priority mismatch.
Steps to take: Inform your partner if there are any of their habits that you don’t enjoy. You should each make an effort to plan your schedule so that you have time for the other. Keep a balanced schedule to reduce potential issues in the future. Do your best to accept your partner’s behavior when it cannot be changed.
Leo Tolstoy, one of the finest writers, once remarked that “how you deal with incompatibility, not how compatible you are, is what counts in establishing a good marriage.”
Your loved one and you are two distinct people with separate likes and dislikes. This means that you could not agree with what your partner desires. But respecting each other’s preferences and adjusting as necessary is what a suitable relationship is all about. Your relationship might end without it.
What to do: Talk to your partner about your wishes and needs. If you don’t share the same hobbies, that’s alright. It is important that you accept each other’s tastes and make time to pursue your individual hobbies.
9. Dependency on the other
Emotional dependence is bad for you as well as your partner. Everyone needs someone to listen to them when they are sad or to share their joy with them. However, it is unreasonable and harmful to count on your partner to control your emotions and make you happy. Your unrealistic anticipation will probably make your partner bitter, and your disappointment will overwhelm you.
Steps to take: A relationship should be based on mutual reliance between two people who come together to improve one another’s life rather than to complete one another. Even if you might want to spend all of your time with your lover, you should also want a separate existence. Give yourself some alone time and some distance.
Any relationship will be threatened by narcissistic conduct, despite the fact that it is not that frequent. Negative narcissistic behaviors such as manipulation, dishonesty, toying with people’s emotions, threatening, dismissing, or demeaning cannot be tolerated for very long.
What to do: The first thing you must realize when dealing with a narcissistic partner is that managing your relationship will be extremely tough for you. But if you’re devoted to your relationship and care about your spouse, you might use more forceful methods to get it back on track. Set clear limits, make your wants, worries, and demands known, and if necessary, seek counseling.
Financial problems, contempt, treating the partnership carelessly, boredom, taking each other for granted, and even infidelity are some more frequent causes that can strain a relationship.